Reality

Reading, playing with the kids, running, feeling yucky pretty often, reading, journalling, weddings and funerals, etc have filled the past week. I can't believe it's Sunday again. It's been a good and relaxing week, with intentional time with Sarah and family. Today, we drove 2 hours to the equator. (we had to leave half the family at home because of car space...although the kids can sit anywhere and mostly in our laps, but also because a day out means more money for David and Sarah to spend on feeding the kids...the hard realities of being here) But, the equator was awesome! To see water change its swirling pattern in a matter of about 10 feet is incredible. Videos to come...
Church was a children's cantata (which you know is close to my heart). It was so great to see Christmas done by kids here - the message is still the same: Jesus was Born for our salvation! Is Jesus born in your life?! They sang, danced, and acted. (I loved it)
Yesterday, I got to go to an Introduction: it's when a man meets his ladies family and asks her dad for her hand in marriage. The process is LONG including the MC who talks and talks and tries to make the audience laugh, We were late, so not only was I the only mzungu, but also made a grand entrance and the rest of the time they refered to me as "the queen of England" or "the real African woman". I laughed. They have many traditions during these cermonies, but one of my favorites was when the husband to be presents the brides brother with chickens. It's a gift of brothership, but then the brother is able to speak to the groom of "look how beautiful my sister is, the gift that she is and how she has NO bruises or deformities, we are entrusting her to you to look the same way after you marry". Sweet, yet SO sobering.
I guess this past week the realities of Africa have really hit. I feel like this trip has shown me real African life. All the glitz and glammer are gone, it's just real life:
hospital/doctor visits, being sick, storms and flooding, lack of water (both for drinking and bathing), how women are treated...this one gets me. Let me expand:
even at the introduction I went to, the man sits there while the woman does all the work, kneels in front of him, feeds him, carries heavy gifts while him and his boys kick back and chill. (I finally got annoyed at the introduction and said something to Sarah and she responded irritated, "it's showing how the rest of this woman's life will be...being looked at as a servant of her husband".) I have NO problem wanting to serve a husband if God grants me one, but the fact that women here are literally looked at as slaves REALLY gets me. You walk by a house and the woman is carrying extremely heavy items on her head, on her back or both, she's cooking, cleaning and the men sit around...drinking and laughing. At the introduction, so many times I wanted to yell at the guys as women would carry 100's of pounds of items and the men would walk by, not even helping. Women sit on the floor while the men recline at the table. Women will eat with their hands while the men have forks. It's almost expected that a woman will be beaten at some point in her marriage. It's wrong. Sarah and I have talked about it and she hates it too, but it's so part of their culture, they can't change it. Sarah even made a comment to Hannah tonight as Hannah was cleaning the table that this is what good women do... but it's in the context of this is what you are good for.

Realities...they are hard

What's better: to feed kids or buy them shoes. How do so many kids go years without shoes, yet at the end of the day, it's better to give them food than shoes that will wear out, be stolen, get lost etc.
I want to be giver, but when I'm stolen from, it makes it hard to give...yet do I continue to give? Will I always be seen as a "rich mzungu"...yes...yes I will! So, instead of giving as much as I want, I have to be cautious because otherwise I'll just be seen as money.
Why can't I buy new shoes here for my friends? Not shoes that have been wore, torn and shipped to Africa?... Yet, any shoe wears out quickly here, so are new shoes worth it?
Families are HUGE here, yet they can't feed them all, they can't all enjoy a road trip for the day because there's not enough space or money to feed, they can't properly feed and clothe them... You take in children, yet they are still treated as "Step children" who don't seem "as loved" as your own...
Ah, everyday I have faced hard Realities...and it wears on you! How can we best help? Best serve? Best love?
Jesus you see the reality of who I am and you love me just the same. I'm ungrateful at times and you still continue to give. Reality is hard, especially here.
So, here I am friends....venting about realities in Africa. Don't get me wrong: I love it here. I love the people. I love the joy. I love the beauty. I love the kids. (I want one!!) but the realities are ROUGH! Good thing I'm not God....He can have this job!