True Giving

This morning started…well, evening went straight into morning as I slept maybe 45 minutes last night. I watched the sun rise over my backyard area, heard the birds and rooster call people to a new day, and for some reason, I was awake. My body is extremely tired, but my mind was wired. At about 6, Robina (one of the girls) walked into my house and started to make me tea. She was so sweet and was loving warned that she needed to study for her exams, even though “Debs in town”. Ha. Love it. She saw all the clothes I had laid out and so I let her choose the first item. Then, I told her to announce to the girls that I had clothes waiting for them. Minutes later, my house was flooded with excited girls, running in and out of the room trying on clothes. They were so sweet, so thankful. I wished I could have brought each of them a full outfit, but even just one article, they are so appreciative. (which after going through the market again today, reminded me of why they are so thankful for clothes…more on that later) The clothes were soon in a heaping pile, as the girls went through them like a little kid on Christmas. Soon, the clothes were gone. There were a few girls who didn’t receive something, so I took their names and plan to shop for them more specifically this week. Not sure how that happened, but they are sweet and are simply excited to have something new. During the process, Danny (Sarah’s son) arrived and I began to dress him in clothes given to him… Raja, he LOVES your jacket and PJ’s you gave him!!!! Once Sarah arrived, we went through each piece for her kids. She was completely overwhelmed. Then, I gave her the outfit I had brought for her (Shoes and all). She was literally speechless. She is SO excited about new shoes…she wore them all day and literally was bouncing around the compound and told me later that the day was great because she felt so “Smart” (beautiful) all day in her new shoes. My heart is so full. And then, the American in me feels, that’s not enough! I want to give her more, more options, more shoes, more outfits…and she feels like I’ve given her the world. Oh Jesus, may I be that simple in mind to be so overwhelming thankful for the simple small gifts you give me, daily!

Finally, around 11 I got out of my PJs and walked around campus, loving on the girls, asking them how their exams and studies were going. I saw Joseph, one of the teachers, who told me I looked “bigger and great!” haha oh how that compliment does NOT work on our American mindset, to them it’s the ultimate compliment… I couldn’t break it to him. I did tell the girls, who laughed and laughed with me about it… “bigger”… wow!  I went and visited Pastor and his wife and their new baby. (Joy was due the day after I left in April…and their new little girl: Gemima (yes, like our American syrup), is adorable!) I have had little energy today… really haven’t felt well. My stomach is terribly upset (I’m sure it’s getting use to Ugandan food again: beans, eggplant and sweet potatoes for lunch) and because I am so tired, I knew I needed some “space”. A run was not an option as I have no energy, so into my house I went. I took about 2 hours to be still… Then, I heard Danny laugh and I couldn’t help but get up and go outside to run around with him. As I took his hand, all the kids of the teachers came running. So we ran around campus, laughing, playing and dancing. I prayed the whole time, Jesus give me strength! As the kids and I were near the entrance to the gate, Sarah drove up in the school van and asked if I wanted to go to town. (It is her daughters Hannah bday and I asked her what she wanted…a watch! So, I told Sarah I would buy her one). I got in (after Sarah making sure I felt alright) and headed out. About 30 seconds into the ride, Sarah turned around in the front seat and started with “To your right you will be seeing a garden…” Oh my gosh, I LOST IT!!! She literally eats up everything I say and so when I told her about being a tour guide, she wanted to know how I said things, my “voice”, how I sat etc. and she did it PERFECTLY! Oh my gosh, best moment of the day!  I’m laughing here thinking about it.

Town was great. Matugga is SO small and on Thursday they have their “flea market”. So, as I mentioned before, going through all the clothes, shoes, apparel laid across the ground, dirtied, American’s LAST choice of clothes they have donated to Salvation Army that ends up in bins here.. yea, it makes me sad. I went shopping with Silvia, one of the girls who works at the school…and to see her looking through the shoes: worn and torn to find the best one… ouch. Hurt my heart. God, why? Why is that ok? We got what we wanted…sweet Sarah bought popcorn and I bought Soda and that was Hannahs party food..and headed home.

Perez arrived soon after we did and so I brought him to my house to give him my running shoes he asked for (2^nd best was almost painful for me at this point…). His sweet 14 yr old LITE and TEARED UP! He jumped into my arms with a chocked up voice of thanks… He spent the next couple of minutes in silence as he rubbed the shoes like they were his prized possession. I asked him if he was gonna run with me now in the MTN Marathon (yes…they’ve talked me into running a race while I’m here) and he started laughing…Maybe Auntie, maybe. Again, not feeling like I’ve brought enough or even the best they deserve: My old running shoes with barely any treed ..and it made his day. We walked to the house together to celebrate Hannah’s bday. My heart was so unsettled (as was m stomach). I don’t really know how to process today…

It’s had so many emotions in it. The hard realities of Africa blaring me in the face. And yet, the JOY these kids have!

I stayed at the party, but my heart the whole time was hurting, so I excused myself (after a sweet and encouraging convo with Sarah) and came to my guest house. Right after I shut the door to make tea, Sofie walked into the house. The tears flooded. She has been so into her studies and feels bad of how connected we became last time that she has told me she was trying to give space for other girls to connect with me this time. 19 years old! Unbelievable. We sat at my table and caught up and talked. Then, she pulled out a gift and handed it to me…and THAT’s when the tears really came. After such a day of giving and not feeling it was enough to then have someone with nothing give me the sweetest and most beautiful necklace… I lost it!  I can’t even put words to it right now. I’m still crying…

What is TRUE, sacrificial giving?....

I have no more words tonight